Friday, November 20, 2009

We'll Paint the Octopus Red

Bryce is almost 19 months old now. When Bryce was about two weeks old, my sister gave me a copy of the childen's book, We'll Paint the Octopus Red by Stephanie Stuve-Bodeen. It's a picture book about a little five year old girl whose going to have a baby brother or sister soon. She's so excited about having a sibling. Before the baby is born she talks with her dad about all the fun things she's going to do with the baby. But, then the baby is born and he has Down syndrome. The little girl is worried that since he has Down syndrome he won't be able to do all the fun things she had hoped. The dad explains that yes, he'll be able to do all the fun things, he just might need a little help or it might take him longer to do certain things. The big sister is reassured. Then, at the end of the book, there are questions and answers about Down syndrome that you can share with your child.

I've had this book under my bed for almost 19 months waiting to read to Payton and Braydon. For the longest time, David and I weren't really ready or didn't know how to tell Payton and Braydon that Bryce has Down syndrome. For awhile, we didn't say anything. But, of course, we always talk about Down syndrome so the kids heard those words. As a family we attend a monthly community group of families of children who have Down syndrome. So the kids have been around it, but we never really came right out and told them.

One day a few months ago, David took Payton and Braydon out to lunch and Payton asked about Down syndrome. David told them that Bryce does have Down syndrome and explained that he might learn how to do things a little slower than other babies. I was a little upset that I wasn't there for the conversation, but I got over it.

As the weeks go by, Payton is starting to ask more and more about Down syndrome. Today she asked, "are we going to have to help Bryce all the time because he has Down syndrome?" I thought to myself, this is it, the question I've been waiting for. I answered that we might need to help him with some things, but not everything. Bryce we'll learn to do things for himself with time. Then, I ran upstairs and grabbed We'll Paint the Octopus Red. I sat down with the three kids and we read the book together. Braydon kept getting up and running around. I'm not sure if he really didn't want to hear the book because of the subject or if he was just being his usual hyper self, running and jumping all over the place. Payton really listened to the book. I think she's actually starting to understand what Down syndrome is. One part of the book mentions how people who have Down syndrome may look different. Payton indignantly said, "Bryce doesn't look different." So, she's already starting to stick up for her baby brother.

I think Braydon is still too young to understand exactly what it all means. In his innocence, Braydon will probably be the best friend and teacher that Bryce will have. To Braydon, Bryce is his playmate just like Payton. There is nothing different about him. Payton will of course be Bryce's best friend and teacher too, but I think it will be a little bit different. She can already tell that there is something different about Bryce. With that knowledge comes a bit of reserve that Braydon doesn't have. This is not a bad thing, but I do think it is interesting.

Either way, they both love their brother so much. No matter what, they will all be able to, "paint the octopus red" together.