Where do I start?

My mind is all over the place right now. Between the health of my children, David being out of town all week and the nightmare in Haiti...I don't know what to think or where to let my mind focus. For two days, I didn't watch a single thing about Haiti because I couldn't bear to even think about it. I did the same thing with 9/11. I still haven't read or watched a single victim's story about 9/11. I can't let myself go to that terrible place. Last night I did watch and read a lot about Haiti and my heart is breaking for these people. But once the true individual stories of despair start being aired, I'm out. It's the personal stories that destroy me. I imagine that's how most people react too.

Now for our health. I believe I started this blog last January when Bryce had an ear infection. We seem to have come full circle. I know what to look for better now. Once Bryce gets a cold, it frustrates me to no end, that it always turns into a secondary infection. Not one time has he fought off a cold. It starts with a runny nose and then I wonder how long I'm going to have to wait until it turns into an ear infection. Usually it takes 10 to 14 days. But, this time, Bryce got croup. So, on day 6 we went to the doctor. She gave him a steroid to fight off the croup, but no ear infection yet. 4 days later we were back at the doctor because Bryce had spiked a fever and this time he has a double ear infection and sinus infection. So, now we get 10 days of antibiotics.

All of this really wouldn't be that bad except Braydon is sick too. Tough little guy, for the first time in his life, he powered through this one. The whole time he kept saying how he wasn't sick and he was fine. But, really he was sick with a runny nose and cough. After 15 days of this, he got worse and his eye was goopy and he started the fever. I took him in the day before I took Bryce and he has a sinus infection.

All of this is very boring, but this is where my mind is.

Also last week, we started testing Bryce to see why his reflux won't go away. We did a blood test to test for Celiac Disease (gluten intolerance). We did an upper GI test to see if there is an abnormality in his esophagus, stomach, or duodenem. Next week, we go back to see the GI doctor for results.

Blah, blah, bah...

Did I mention that through all this David was out of town. Oh yes, I did mention this.

I actually think I'm handling it all pretty well, except I feel like I'm in survival mode all the time. Get through this test or this appointment to get to the next one. There isn't much carefree fun going on in my life right now. There have been glimpses like at book club this week when one of my friends told the story of her son on Christmas reading the tag of a gift from his uncle Curt. He innocently said this one is from "Uncle Cunt". It was hysterical. We couldn't stop laughing. I needed that.

With the kids, we have discovered the Wii. Bowling with the Wii has provided lots of carefree fun. So has the joys of the classic stories, The Three Little Pigs and Winnie the Pooh. It's fun to rediscover these great books with my kids.

But, I am stressed. I need to relax. But, when your family is sick, it is so very hard. I can hear Bryce coughing in his crib as I type this.

To the people of Haiti, I am praying for you. I mourn for you and I wish for you peace and comfort now.