We'll Paint the Octopus Red

Bryce is almost 19 months old now. When Bryce was about two weeks old, my sister gave me a copy of the childen's book, We'll Paint the Octopus Red by Stephanie Stuve-Bodeen. It's a picture book about a little five year old girl whose going to have a baby brother or sister soon. She's so excited about having a sibling. Before the baby is born she talks with her dad about all the fun things she's going to do with the baby. But, then the baby is born and he has Down syndrome. The little girl is worried that since he has Down syndrome he won't be able to do all the fun things she had hoped. The dad explains that yes, he'll be able to do all the fun things, he just might need a little help or it might take him longer to do certain things. The big sister is reassured. Then, at the end of the book, there are questions and answers about Down syndrome that you can share with your child.

I've had this book under my bed for almost 19 months waiting to read to Payton and Braydon. For the longest time, David and I weren't really ready or didn't know how to tell Payton and Braydon that Bryce has Down syndrome. For awhile, we didn't say anything. But, of course, we always talk about Down syndrome so the kids heard those words. As a family we attend a monthly community group of families of children who have Down syndrome. So the kids have been around it, but we never really came right out and told them.

One day a few months ago, David took Payton and Braydon out to lunch and Payton asked about Down syndrome. David told them that Bryce does have Down syndrome and explained that he might learn how to do things a little slower than other babies. I was a little upset that I wasn't there for the conversation, but I got over it.

As the weeks go by, Payton is starting to ask more and more about Down syndrome. Today she asked, "are we going to have to help Bryce all the time because he has Down syndrome?" I thought to myself, this is it, the question I've been waiting for. I answered that we might need to help him with some things, but not everything. Bryce we'll learn to do things for himself with time. Then, I ran upstairs and grabbed We'll Paint the Octopus Red. I sat down with the three kids and we read the book together. Braydon kept getting up and running around. I'm not sure if he really didn't want to hear the book because of the subject or if he was just being his usual hyper self, running and jumping all over the place. Payton really listened to the book. I think she's actually starting to understand what Down syndrome is. One part of the book mentions how people who have Down syndrome may look different. Payton indignantly said, "Bryce doesn't look different." So, she's already starting to stick up for her baby brother.

I think Braydon is still too young to understand exactly what it all means. In his innocence, Braydon will probably be the best friend and teacher that Bryce will have. To Braydon, Bryce is his playmate just like Payton. There is nothing different about him. Payton will of course be Bryce's best friend and teacher too, but I think it will be a little bit different. She can already tell that there is something different about Bryce. With that knowledge comes a bit of reserve that Braydon doesn't have. This is not a bad thing, but I do think it is interesting.

Either way, they both love their brother so much. No matter what, they will all be able to, "paint the octopus red" together.

Changes

It seems like just about every six months my life as a mother changes dramatically. The first huge change is when you bring your baby home from the hospital for the first time. If that doesn't dramatically affect someone's life, I don't know what will. Once you get all the initial baby stuff figured out, you coast for awhile between feedings, naps, and diaper changes. But, then the little baby starts to crawl. Now, you really have to baby proof your house. Even if you ignored what all the baby books said up until now, you really can't put this off any longer. If you have stairs, the gates must go in, the outlets must be covered, and the cabinets must be locked. Once that is taken care of, now the little darling starts to walk or run as my kids mostly do. If you haven't lost all of the baby weight yet, this is the stage when the pounds start to really come off. Forget breastfeeding, let's talk about chasing an 18 month old all around all day long. Once you are past the initial shock of chasing a very young toddler around, things do calm down a bit for awhile. But, just you wait until that sweet little angel turns into a two year old. Now, we have the tantrum stage. Nothing is right or good, sometimes, I have even told my children they are not fit for society and we must stay home because of their bad behavior. But, we're making it through.

The birth of each additional child obviously completely changes your life again. I once heard a quote from a friend of mine, "only children are wasted on people, who have only one child." -Richard Buckingham. It's kind of bizarre, but really makes sense if you think about it.

I can't write this post without mentioning the change of having a child who has Down syndrome does to your life. I don't really want to get into it too much right now, but in short, the appointments have multiplied exponentially. Therapists, doctors, specialists, early intervention counselors, meetings, research, this is how my life has changed.

But, where I was headed when I started this post is to the change I have found myself in this week. SCHOOL. I will now live in my car for the next nine months until summer vacation begins again. Payton started kindergarten yesterday. It was a rough start, but I think she's going to make it. It's very strange to me to take her to school every day of the week now. The most she has ever gone to school is two days a week. Now, suddenly it's five days a week.

So, I have entered a new era. The drop off/pick up, chauffeur mom. This stage will last a lot longer than the brief stage between crawling and walking. I don't think it will really change until Bryce is in first grade. Then all three of my kids will be in school all day long. That will be a huge change (in about 6 years). What will I do then? Maybe I'll get a job. Probably not. Until then, I'll be in the car. How much is gas right now?

Dinner with Governor Bill Ritter

Last Tuesday, July 7, David and I had the great fortune to go to downtown Denver, in Larimer Square, to have dinner at Bistro Vendome. We were invited to attend because we had come in second place for fundraising for the Elephant Rock bike race for Bryce's new school, the Rise School of Denver. The top 10 fundraisers were invited along with the corporate sponsors. We arrived at 6:30PM for cocktails. David and I only knew one other couple there, so we had to start meeting new people right away. I took the opportunity to talk to the only child there, named Jack. Thank God for Jack because he was born with Down syndrome to some amazing parents, Mary and Greg Holm. His parents actually started the Rise School in Denver. Jack is 9 years old and about the cutest thing I have ever seen. He told me all about the basketball camp he had attended that day, complete with elaborate details of a game called "dead worm". I loved talking to him, because he is so happy, healthy, and talks so well. He seems just like any other little boy.

After I talked to Jack for awhile, it was time to sit down to dinner. The restaurant had set up a long table that seated about 45 guests. David and I sat in the middle. All the guests crowded in and took their seats. I was disappointed that no one sat across from me, but I was so excited to be able to eat at a French restaurant. It had been so long and the food was fabulous. Just after everyone had ordered their dinners, in walks Governor Bill Ritter. I was surprised to see him there, but not completely because he had participated in the Elephant Rock race for Team Rise like David had. Governor Ritter is friends with Jack's dad, Greg Holm. He sat down in the only empty chair which was directly across from me. I was nervous at first. I just reached out my hand and introduced myself right away. Actually, it was very easy to talk with him. It was like having dinner with any other person, only he is the Governor of Colorado. Eventually I got up the nerve to ask him about charter schools for children with special needs. I had already told him that Bryce has Down syndrome. I mentioned that my daughter would be attending Academy Charter school in Castle Rock. When I asked the school if Bryce would eventually be able to attend Academy Charter School, I was informed that they do not have the money or resources to accommodate a child with such "significant needs as a child with Down syndrome". The Governor actually finished my sentence before I could get it out. He said, "they told you he couldn't go there." I was shocked. He said it was true that the way the funding works, they don't have the money for it.

So, there it is. Straight from the Governor's mouth. I told him I didn't like that, and that it should be changed. He didn't say much to that. He wasn't rude, he was just telling me how it is. I suppose I don't have to accept this. If I really do want Bryce to attend the charter school, I could make it my mission to see that it happens. I'm already on the PTO for next year. My theory is that if I really get involved in the school, it will be harder for them to turn him away. There was actually an article in the Denver Post not too long ago about the lack of students with special needs who attend charter schools. Here's a link to the article:

http://www.denverpost.com/search/ci_12581441

Despite the disappointing answer to my question about the charter school, I did really enjoy having dinner with Governor Bill Ritter. My dad joked if the Governor had called me yet to be in his cabinet. Governor Ritter is a Democrat. I didn't vote for him for Governor, but I do like him. I love that he supports the Rise School. A third Republican just announced yesterday that he is starting his campaign for Governor of Colorado in 2010. But, I think I already know who I'll be voting for.

Bryce's Surgery

On July 9, Bryce had to go to Children's Hospital in Denver to have his adenoids taken out and tubes put in. I have been to the Children's Hospital about 4 or 5 times for Bryce to see Pat Winders for physical therapy. The place doesn't even look like a hospital. It has only been open for a few years. Inside everything is bright colors, soft carpets, fun couches, and toys everywhere. When we go to physical therapy on the fourth floor it is more of the same. Friendly faces, more fun furniture, play areas, and picture books. The room where we do physical therapy is basically a playroom.

Last Thursday, we had to go to the second floor for Bryce to have his surgery. In the waiting room, there is an amazing fish tank, chairs with duck feet and more toys. But, then when they called us back and opened the big doors, I found out what was hiding back there. It was an actual hospital. I find it very amusing how surprised I was to walk into an area that looked like a hospital. I don't know what I was expecting, the doctors to operate with toy doctor kits like my kids play with, but this was the real deal. No more soft carpets and duck feet.

The nurses were incredibly nice. They all fawned over how cute Bryce is. I was really nervous. I know that adenoids and tubes aren't a major surgery, but it's still a surgery. I even had this exact surgery when I was a little girl. It scared me that he would have to be put completely under. David and I went back to the operating room while they put him under. It took longer than I thought it would for him to fall asleep. But, time was moving at a strange pace that day. After Bryce went to sleep, David and I went out to the waiting room. The surgery itself only took about 30 minutes. I couldn't do anything during the surgery except sit there and wait and go to the bathroom 3 times. Too much coffee or just nervous behavior, I'm not sure. David couldn't believe it.

After the surgery, we went back as soon as he woke up. The nurse couldn't believe how well he was doing. She said she had never seen a baby his age, Down syndrome or not, do so well after this surgery. He did do great, but there was one problem. The anesthesia wired him. I thought he would be groggy and tired, but he didn't take a nap the entire day. His surgery was at 8:45 in the morning. Our doctor told us to be ready to spend the night at the hospital, but there was a chance we could go home that day. We were able to leave by about 12:30 that afternoon. Bryce did fall asleep in the car on the way home, but that was all he slept the entire day. He just cried and wanted to be held and was pretty miserable all day long. All I could give him was Tylenol. I don't know if it helped that much. Bryce finally went to sleep around 6:45 that night. Then one hour later, he woke up. I thought oh no, he's going to be up all night. Luckily he was due for more Tylenol at that time and he went right back to sleep.

It has been 3 days since his surgery, Bryce has had his ups and downs. He's had a fever and been pretty yucky since his surgery. But, I'm glad he's sleeping better now and napping.

The reason for the surgery in the first place was that Bryce seems to have chronic fluid in his ears. He has not done well on his hearing tests lately either. His nose is congested most of the time. The surgery should help with his hearing, speaking eventually, and balance. For those reasons, he really needed the surgery and I'm glad he got it. I was so nervous. I'm so glad it's over.

Bryce's Collage

We had a professional photographer take our family pictures about 6 weeks ago.  We started doing this when Payton turned one.  We did our first family photo shoot just after her first birthday.  Then we had our second photo shoot when Braydon turned one.  Of course we didn't want to leave Bryce out.  It was hard to get the pictures taken.  First, we had to coordinate with school schedules, work schedules, and photographer schedules.  Then, once the day arrived, Bryce had pink eye.  He didn't kind of have pink eye, he really had it.  I tried 3 different treatments to get rid of this thing.  Finally the doctor put him on oral antibiotics and that did the trick.  It was nasty.  I'm so glad we are done with that.   Of course, we rescheduled.  Just before Bryce turned 13 months, we got his "12 month" picture taken.  It was also really hard to decide what to wear.  Our photographer, Lisa Turner, runs her business differently than most.  She burns all the pictures she took of us onto a CD.  We purchase the CD from her and then we can do whatever we want with the pictures.  Once I have the CD, I'll post more pictures on my blog.  For now, this is the collage she created for us to hang in Bryce's room.  He's so cute!!!

Pool Day

I finally did it.  I took all three kids to the neighborhood pool, by myself today.  I was nervous about going by myself because not one of my three children can swim.  Payton and Braydon are in swim lessons, but they cannot swim yet.  I do think swimming is starting to click with Payton.  I predict, she'll be swimming by the end of the summer.  

Bryce was so sweet.  I set him up in the stroller next to the pool.  He happily watched me trying to teach Payton and Braydon how to swim for about 20 minutes.  Then after we all ate lunch, we went to the baby pool so Bryce could play.  He had a blast!  He just crawled all over the place.  The best part of the pool for babies is that there is a zero degree entry.  Bryce crawled over to the fountains and played with Braydon's football.  He thought it was great.  He played for an hour solid in the pool without making a sound of complaint.  His little knees were red for the rest of the day after all that crawling around.  

On the way to the pool I told the kids my new mantra:

"No fighting, no crying.  No fussing, no whining."  They agreed to my conditions.  The best part is they actually followed through and behaved.  With them, if I set the expectations up ahead of time, things usually go much more smoothly.  The trick is to remember to set up the proper expectations in advance.  

I feel like summer has finally started.  It has been cool and rainy most of June.  I'm ready for the sun, the pool, backyard  barbecues, and leisurely days.

The Birthdays of 2009

I wish I were doing a better job of keeping up this blog.  Four birthdays have passed in my family in the past 6 weeks and I haven't posted a thing about them.  Baby Bryce turned one on April 24.  He's still my little baby though.  That is one of the good things about Down syndrome.  He's such a snuggle bug baby.  I still get to hold and cuddle and love him like he's much younger than he actually is.  I like that part.  

Braydon turned 3 on April 27.  He was sick for his birthday.  He didn't have as much fun at his birthday party as he would have.  The fire department came and everything.  He didn't seem too impressed.  I thought it was a fun birthday party.

I turned 34 on May 10.  Pretty uneventful.  I think we went to Red Robin for dinner.

Payton turned 5 on June 2.  Her birthday party is this weekend.  We did celebrate with my parents last weekend.  David was out of town on her actual birthday.  We couldn't leave Red Robin out of the equation for Payton's big day.  So, I took all three kids by myself to visit the big red bird.  It went well.  The strange thing is, I think I'm actually starting to like that restaurant.  The salads aren't bad.  I recommend the strawberry margaritas too.  Although they aren't cheap.  We must be one of Red Robin's best customers.

Bryce is CRAWLING!!!

Today is Tuesday, May 12, 2009.  Bryce is 12 months 18 days old and he officially crawled today for the very first time.  He has been up on his hands and knees rocking back and forth for months now.  He has been reaching with one hand or moving one knee forward, but for the last month, he couldn't quite put it together.  But, today he did.  We had physical therapy this morning.  Then this afternoon after a long nap and some milk, he was in a great mood.  He just acted like he wanted to do it.  So, after lots of encouragement, HE DID IT.  David was home, so I yelled down to him so he could see Bryce crawl too.  We got it on video and Bryce crawled about 4 feet 10 different times.  I was so excited.  I'm still so excited.  

For typical children the range for crawling is 6-12 months.  For Down syndrome, the range for crawling is 8-22 months.  I'm thrilled that Bryce even falls within the range of crawling for typical kids.  He's on the early side for Down syndrome.  What a great day!!

Cutest Baby Award

And the cutest baby on earth award goes to Bryce!  Today after church I had to go to Costco to get things for the birthday party next weekend.  Bryce was so tired.  He had already missed his morning nap because we were at church.  It was time for his afternoon nap.  I knew if I didn't make it to Costco today it would be very hard to find another time.  So, we had to do it.  Now if this had been Payton and maybe Braydon there would have been no way.  Crying, screaming or worse would have ensued if I had tried this manoeuvre with them.  Costco was packed.  We just finished with a three day snow storm of two feet of snow.  The people were out today.  Bryce fussed for about 5 minutes, then laid his head down on the cart and went to sleep.  As I was navigating the aisles with my giant rolls of paper towels and massive amounts of food, people left and right were going crazy over my sweet sleeping baby.  What an angel!

Bryce's First Haircut

I took Bryce to get his first haircut today.  As usual, he was the best behaved out of my three children.  Payton cried throughout her entire first haircut.  Braydon cried for most of his first haircut as well.  Bryce had a few moments of uncertainty, but for the most part he stayed strong.  Bryce's first birthday is next week, so I figured I should go ahead and get his haircut.  It was getting long around the ears and he did have a tail.  I waited as long as I could to get that haircut.  

Braydon's hair is so thick that he needed another haircut even though it had only been 2 weeks since his last one.  I had handed Braydon's haircut duty over to David because Braydon would  cry so much, during a cut.  But, David took him to Sports Clips and Braydon never got a good cut there.  Twice they cut his hair straight across the front.  He looked like Jim Carey in Dumb and Dumber.  No more of that.  

Of course if Bryce and Braydon were getting their hair cut, Payton had to too.  She finally lets me fix her hair now.  She gets excited to get her hair cut.  It's so funny, because she used to cry and cry during cuts too.  I'm glad we're past that.

I spent $60 on haircuts!  Crazy!

Spring

Spring is here!  Finally!  What a long winter it has been.  But, strangely not really.   In terms of snow and ice, we didn't really get that much around here this year.  But, we sure got hit with a constant barrage of colds, ear infections, sore throats, and stomach viruses.  Someone was sick in our house for two months solid this winter.  Currently both of my boys are taking antibiotics.  But, I see the light or the sun rather.  

Today, we spent the morning at the park behind our house.  It was so gorgeous out.  70 degrees, no wind, perfect.  What was even more perfect was that two of my neighbors were there with their kids too.  It was so great just sitting and chatting with them.  That's what is hard about winter.  Not being able to have the random meetings at the park with friends.  It's such an unexpected surprise.  

This afternoon, we colored Easter eggs.  A fun, but messy tradition that must be maintained year after year.  I love coloring Easter eggs.  This was the first year that Braydon was old enough to enjoy it with help.  Payton even did everything herself.  Poor Bryce had to be content to sit and watch.  

To round out our perfect Spring day, Payton had her first spring soccer game tonight.  I love going out to the field to watch the kids play sports.  It's such a great family time.  Although it was very windy by tonight and Bryce was not happy about the wind at all.  Other than that it was a great time.  

I think I've made it.  The winter is behind us.  Easter is in 4 days.  Hallelujah!!!!

Coincidences?

Before Bryce was born I didn't know anyone who had Down syndrome.  There was no one in my immediate circle of friends and family who had DS.  Although, throughout my life, I can remember crossing paths with many people who had DS.  Maybe this happens to everyone.  But, I can remember since I was very young coming into contact with lots of people who had DS. 

My first memory of noticing someone with Down syndrome was when I was in about the second grade.  I remember playing on the playground with a little girl who had DS.   We played in the sandbox together.  She went to my school, but back then there was no inclusive education, so I never had any classes with her.  

Much later in life, the year after I had graduated from college I was at a neighborhood swimming pool.  There was a woman there who worked at the grocery store where I shopped.  She was with her baby girl.  I hardly knew this woman and I asked about her baby.  I couldn't really see her because of the sun glare and they were under an umbrella.  She told me that her baby was 15 months old.  I commented on how tiny she was.  (I really wish now I hadn't said that.)  She told me the baby had DS.  I don't remember what I said after that.

6 years later, I was at yet another grocery store.  (this time in another state.)  As I was standing in line to check out, I noticed a mother with a little boy sitting in the front of the grocery cart.  This little boy had DS.  But, this mother looked very sad.  She might have only been sad because she was having a bad day and it had nothing to do with DS.  But I felt sorry for her.  

2 years later while Payton was taking a ballet class, there was a little girl in her class who had a sister with DS. While I waited for Payton's class, I would see this little girl running around the playing for the entire 45 minute class.

1 year after this while I was pregnant with Bryce I used to take Braydon to a tumbling class while Payton was at school.  There was a little boy in that class with us who had DS.  

Another strange thing was the church David and I joined.  There must be hundreds of churches to chose from in the Denver metro area.  David and I joined a church 4 years before Bryce was born where the head pastor, Harvey Martz, has a son who has DS.  Harvey's wife, Judy, was the President of the National Down Syndrome Congress.

  

Also, when I was in high school, one of my favorite TV shows was Life Goes On.  It was a drama about a family.  One of the children in the family was a young man who had DS.

Before I had Bryce, I read two novels that centered specifically around Down syndrome.  The books were Jewel by Bret Lott and The Memory Keeper's Daughter by Kim Edwards.  

Before Bryce was born, we did not know he had Down syndrome.  

Do these types of things happen to everyone?  Does everyone cross paths a lot with people who have DS?  Maybe they do.  Maybe this just shows the prevalence of DS in our society.  Or maybe somehow I was being prepared for Bryce.  Maybe all of these "coincidences" were there to provide comfort for me.  Maybe God was trying to prepare me somehow, since I was completely blind-sided by the diagnosis.  

I don't know.  I like to think of them as more than coincidences.   Over the past 9 months, I have thought about all of these events often. And I have found comfort.

A Glimpse into the Public School System

Today Bryce turned 9 months old.  While he is still very much a baby, I have already come face to face with some of his future in the public school system.  The reason being that Payton will be starting kindergarden next year.  One of my fears when we first found out that Bryce had Down syndrome was the prejudice he could face.  As I have been put into contact with the Down syndrome community over the past 9 months, my fears of this have been somewhat put to rest.  Things are much better now than they used to be they say.  The stereotypes aren't what they used to be they say.  I believed them and I still do believe them to some extent, but not completely.  

About three months ago, I went to look at a Charter School that is in our school district for Payton to attend next year.  There is a long waiting list to get into this school.  To attend the school, there is a lottery system and one just has to hope and pray that their number is picked.  Some of the advantages of this school are smaller class sizes, uniforms, Spanish starting in kindergarden, music in all grades, traditional school schedule (we have year round schools), mandatory parent involvement, autonomy from the school district, among many other reasons. Since my tour, the school bond did not pass in our district and most of the schools will be undergoing major budget cuts in the upcoming school year. The Charter school won't be as affected by these budget cuts.  At the end of the tour, I asked the administrator conducting the tour about students with special needs.  I told her that my baby had Down syndrome and we were hoping he would attend the same school as his siblings.  She flat out said to me, "oh we don't have the space, resources, or budget for a student with such significant special needs as a child with Down syndrome."  Wait a minute, this is a public school, what about a free and appropriate education for all?  What about the Individuals with Disabilities Act?  What?  What?  What?  I was so shocked, hurt, and angry by her response that I didn't know what to say.  I did manage to ask if they had ever had any students with any kind of special needs like autism.  She replied that one time a little boy in kindergarden had autism, but it just didn't work out and he had to switch schools.  

I couldn't believe the prejudice I was already facing.  Bryce was 6 months old for God's sake! Through some research I have done since then, by law, that school has to accept Bryce as a student (that is if Payton even gets in.)  I was pretty sure about that going into the tour that is why I was so incredulous at that administrator's response.  

Fast forward to a few weeks ago when I had my second glimpse into the public school system.  I had to enroll Payton in the neighborhood elementary school just in case she doesn't get into the charter school.  As I wrote, the schools here are year round, so there are 4 different "tracks" into which the students are divided.  One of my neighbors, I'll call Steve because that is not his name, teaches at the neighborhood school Payton would attend.  I mentioned to Steve that I had enrolled Payton at his school, but was a little unsure about the tracks.  He said he could tell me about the tracks.  He proceeded to explain that "B" track is the most like a traditional school calendar, but that is where they place most of the "Speds".  "Speds?" I have never heard this DEROGATORY term in my life.  He meant the students in special education.  He went on that since the "Speds" are in "B" track that a lot of parents don't want their children to be in this track because they don't want to have to "deal with it".  I couldn't believe what I was hearing.  This guy lives across the street from me.  It hurts me to say that his wife is one of my friends.  Did he not know that Bryce has Down syndrome?  Did he not care?  Did he forget?  He is a teacher!  He is supposed to be one of the understanding ones.  He is supposed to be a part of the safe world for Bryce.  

It makes me mad.  I'm not afraid to fight for Bryce.  I will do it.  I will get him into the school that is best for him.  I can already see at the tender age of 9 months, the obstacles that are ahead.  I say bring it on.  Get ready, because we are coming.  That Charter school has 5 years to get ready for us!  Both of these "educators" have A LOT to learn about compassion, understanding, and love.

Martin Luther King Jr. Day

So, apparently in 1994, Congress passed a resolution that Martin Luther King Jr. Day should be a day of service for our country.  Instead of taking the "day off" people should have a "day on" and help out in the community somehow.  I didn't find out about this resolution until a few days ago. That is quite a legislative lag if I've every heard of one.  

For a while now, I have been wanting to get my kids involved in community service.  The idea is that if they help others they won't become so self-involved and self-centered.  Acquiring material possessions will not be the focus of their lives.  We have done a few service projects here and there, but I thought why not do one on Martin Luther King Jr. Day?  The problem is how much can a 4 year old and a 2 year old really do?  So, we decided to pick up trash at the park.  They were really excited about this.  I think a lot of the excitement came from the Backyardigans episode they have been watching about a space-age garbage truck.  But, whatever works.  I got everyone different colored plastic gloves and off we went.  The only problem we ran into was that apparently we live in a very clean place.  We went to three different parks and couldn't find any trash.  It was very disappointing.  After driving around a while, we finally found some trash across from a school.  The school grounds themselves were immaculate, but we found all the trash that had blown away from the school.  The kids thought it was great frolicking in the field collecting "stinky trash".  (Stray school papers and chip bags hardly constitute as being stinky, but this is kid talk.)

Next it was time for service project number 2.  The "yes we can" can in honor of Barak Obama's campaign slogan.  (I didn't come up with this on my own.)  We decorated soup cans and covered the tops with a slit to hold coins.  The idea is for the kids to collect coins to donate to their favorite charity.  I picked their favorite charity to be the Mile High Down Syndrome Association.  We went to five neighbors' houses and everyone emptied their coin jars into our cans.  The best part of it all, was when I was trying to get the kids to explain to our neighbors what we were doing.  After a few moments of silence when someone had answered their door, Braydon blurted out, "trick or treat."  It was hilarious!  I can understand the confusion.

Here's the link on how to make a "yes we can" can:

http://crafts.kaboose.com/yes-we-can-can.html

Fun Day!

Introduction

Well I thought I would try out this blogging thing.  It seems like the thing to do.  I've been wanting to start writing, so why not start in a very casual way like a blog.  But, I'm not even sure what I'm doing right now.  I'll be lucky if this ends up published or if anyone besides my husband actually reads this.  

I'm not feeling too prophetic right now.  I just posted two other essays I worked on a few weeks ago.  That took longer than I thought so my creativity is waning.  

Why even start a blog?  It's for so many different reasons.  As I already said to start writing.  But also to record my life with my husband and 3 kids.  It seems to give perspective on things when I write about them.  I have felt that way since I was about 12 years old and started journaling.  I have about 10 journals from middle and high school that I cringe to think about.  They are so filled with teenage suffering, that I don't want to think or read about any of it.  I should probably burn those things.  

If I blog, I will document the little every day occurrences that I would otherwise forget about.  Like today for instance, I met David, Payton and Braydon at the park.  I took Bryce in the stroller.  Normally, I put him in the infant carrier and he can't see anything.  Today, for the first time, I put him in a regular stroller so he could see the world and the world could see him.  He is 8 months old and I know with the other two they were already sitting up and facing the world by then.  But I think I have been protecting Bryce or really me from the world.  Bryce has Down syndrome and when he was in the infant carrier no one could see him.  If I kept him covered I wouldn't have to answer any questions from strangers about him.  I just wasn't ready yet to answer questions.  Of course they have come up already, but this was just another way to protect him or really me.  But, today, I felt confident and ready.  It was a perfect beautiful sunny Colorado day.  60 degrees, blue skies, perfect.  I put Bryce in that stroller, he smiled, I smiled, and off we went.  No strangers said anything to me.  I was just any mom with any kid at any park.    

The Joy of Laundry

It is Saturday morning and I am happy to write that I am doing laundry.  Most people dread doing laundry.  Usually I do too, but not today.  Today is good because my husband has the two older kids out and about on errands.  The baby is asleep and I am doing the laundry.  Usually when I am trying to do the laundry, I am dealing with the agenda of three children.  Their agendas have nothing to do with clean clothes.  These are the various attempts my children make to sabotage the conquering of "Mount Washmore."

Sabotage #1 The Un-Sort:  I have just spent 10 minutes sorting a week's worth of laundry into neat color specific piles.  I walk out of the room for 30 seconds to answer the phone, wipe someone's nose or longer to change a diaper.  I return to my neat piles only to find clothes strewn everywhere in a chaos greater than that which I started.  Did I mention I'm doing a week's worth of laundry for 5 including a baby who thinks spitting up is an Olympic sport?

Sabotage #2  The Whine:  30 minutes into the sort, I am finally ready to begin my first load of laundry.  Then, the whining begins.  "Mommy can you un-button my pants so I can go to the bathroom?"  30 seconds gone;  "Mommy can I have a snack, I'm hungry!!!"  5 minutes gone;  "Mommy can I have more juice?"  1 minute gone;  "Mommy will you play with meeeeee?"  2 minutes gone;  Only 2 minutes because I quickly try to explain why I can't play because I am trying to start a load of laundry.

Sabotage #3  The Un-Fold:  OK, somehow I have managed to wash and dry a load of laundry about two and a half hours after I began.  Now, it is time to fold.  Usually what happens now is the kids are playing nicely together and I sneak away to my room to fold the laundry.  Since this is a week's worth of clothes even one load takes at least 15 minutes to fold because it is huge. We're talking the washing machine was so stuffed, the water barely breached the top of this massive pile of clothes.  5 minutes into folding, I hear the shuffle of tiny footsteps down the hallway.  My blood pressure begins to rise.  "What are you doing mommy?"  "I'm folding the laundry."  "Can I help?"  "Ok, as long as you don't mess up the clothes I have already folded." The two older ones hop up on the bed and begin to help me "fold".  But, there is hardly any room on the bed because there is so much laundry piled up.  They begin pushing clothes around and the now the un-fold begins.  Within 2 minutes everything I have just folded is in another pile in the middle of the bed and the rest of the clothes are on the floor.

Sabotage #4:  The Put-Away:  Another 30 minutes later the clothes are finally folded and now I have to put them away.  After two minutes of begging, I finally allow my two year old to help put things away.  I give him the easiest thing I can think of to put away, a pile of washcloths.  He happily trots off to the bathroom to put them in the basket under the sink.  4 minutes later he returns with two of the washcloths waded up in his hand.  "I thought you were going to put those away."  "I did."  "Then why do you still have two in your hand?"  "I'm playing with them."  I walk in to the bathroom and the washcloths are strew about the bathroom.  Some in the tub, some out, most on the floor.  Now I can't tell which ones are clean and which ones are dirty.  I have to pick them all up and re-wash them.  After at least 4 hours, I have not even completed one load of laundry.

Now, it makes even more sense to me why I am so happy to be doing laundry today, Saturday morning without kids. Except, the baby just woke up from his nap.  I guess I'll have to finish the laundry later.

Double Ear Infection

It is snowing today.  Not the kind of snow that produces big beautiful snowflakes or large drifts of snow for children to play in.  No, today's snow is like tiny hail.  Small, hard little drops of water pretending to be snow.

The baby, Bryce, has been sick for a week with a cold.  In fact everyone in my family has been sick for a week.  Sore throats, headaches, runny noses, and grumpiness abound in my home this week.  If someone isn't sleeping they are whining and complaining about life.  Adults included.  

Bryce awoke from his morning nap today with snot bubbles coming out of his nose.  I picked him up and his little body was warm to my touch as if her were a little furnace.  It was 11:00AM.  If I was going to make it into the doctor today, a Saturday, I had better call right away. 

The receptionist who answered the  phone at the pediatrician's office said the nurse would call me back.  She was with a patient and all the appointments were already taken up for the morning.  She would triage me and decide if I needed to come in.

One hour later and one minute after the office had closed for the weekend, the nurse called me back.  "What's going on with Bryce today?"  the nurse asked me.  I tell her about the week long cold that he doesn't seem to be getting over and the fever.  She replies, "well, he should probably be seen, but we are closed for the weekend now."  (thanks for your help) "If he gets any worse, you may need to take him to the emergency room before Monday.

Of we go to the urgent care clinic.  It is a brand new building.  I can still smell the fresh paint as I enter the office.  The chairs in the waiting room are neatly arranged in a horseshoe.  The two girls behind the desk are young and fresh and happy to be working here.

After paperwork and a short wait, we are called back to see the doctor.  The handsome young male nurse takes me back and asks the obligatory family history questions.  I tell him that Bryce has Down syndrome and sometimes it is hard for doctors to see in his ear.  His ear canals are so small.  This doesn't seem to faze him and off he goes to find the doctor.  The doctor looks in Bryce's ears and says that they are both red.  He can't see any fluid, but since they are so red, he's fairly certain he has an ear infection in both ears.  He writes a prescription for antibiotics and off we go.  Only $50 for this visit compared with the $100 ER visit we could have made.

Some things just don't seem fair.  Bryce is the sweetest one of us all.  He complained the least in his baby way.  He hardly cried during any of this, including the week long cold.  He behaved even better than David, my husband, who resigned himself to bed for 36 hours straight.  Braydon (the 2 year old). has been practically miserable to be around for the last week.  Payton has had her moments too.  Through it all, Bryce was the sickest of us all.  He only wanted to be held and kissed and loved,  He asks so little of me as his mother.  The only reason I knew he was really sick was that his little furnace turned on.  Despite himself, he little body told me, hey there mom, I'm sick over here and I need to get to the doctor now.

How many other times in his life will Bryce be unassuming and un-demanding?  How many other times in his life will I overlook his symptoms just because he doesn't make a huge fuss.  His sister, Payton, would have me call out the national guard for a paper cut that requires half a tube of neosporin and about five band-aids.

I pray that I will be a good mother to him, to all of them.  But how?  It seems like such a daunting task.  What happens when the issues are pre-marital sex, friends who are mean, boyfriends who don't call, failed science tests, speeding tickets, or worse?  Will I be ready for all of that?  Will I miss it?  Or despite themselves, will their little furnaces turn up and tell mommy that something is wrong?  

Finally the little snow hail has stopped pretending to be snow and has turned into big beautiful soft snowflakes.  Maybe we'll make a snowman.